faith
‘You can tell me anything’
my mother said to my brother and I
‘Except that you’re queer’.
Words like that leave an indelible impression
On a child who knows they have
Special relevance for him.
 
‘But you are gay, aren’t you’
I would scream as I
looked at myself in the car mirror.
‘No. It can’t be true’
The man in the mirror
Would reply.
 
‘What do you think of her?
My friends would ask
As they looked at the girls in Sports Illustrated.
‘Absolutely nothing’
I would say in a voice so quiet
That only God or the devil could hear.
 
‘If you are faithful, I will cure you’
said my aunt,
masquerading as the Lord.
So I was in the church
Every time the doors opened
Hoping for my reward.
 
‘You can’t turn off
your homosexual attractions’
said a voice of reason in my head.
‘In which case, I’ll turn off God’.
Not realising that the two
Should be reconciled instead.
 
Because parents will still love you
Even it takes time for them to accept you
And God will be with you
And bring richness and fullness to your life
No matter what those Pharisees might say.